Idle talking
I've always had a hard time with the whole "telling people how I feel" gig. It's part of that whole personal bubble, you know. And while what I write here isn't particularly intimate, the simple fact of typing and publishing in such a discoverable way is a challenge for me. I have to turn off the part of my brain that worries what others will think of me. I keep a blog because I enjoy the writing. But the real product of all of this is that I'm peeling back the layers of what I'll let other people see. Even if it's just thoughts on books or the walk I took or what I thought was funny today. I'm committing my thoughts and opinions to paper, as it were, and leaving them around for people to read.
Not to imply that each little post is this struggle of creation and revelation of self. No, it's more the whole concept of it. And as more and more people that I know see this and read it, I have to think about what they will think of me.
And I've decided I don't care. If this perceived is frivolous or profane or a false search for intimacy, I don't care.* I don't want to be evasive or defensive or worry about who tells who about my blog. I don't want to require anonymity to be able to say what's on my mind.
This is good for me, and damn it, I'm going to keep writing. Right here.
And I think I might even tell my family about it.
*Not you, my dear blogger friends.
Not to imply that each little post is this struggle of creation and revelation of self. No, it's more the whole concept of it. And as more and more people that I know see this and read it, I have to think about what they will think of me.
And I've decided I don't care. If this perceived is frivolous or profane or a false search for intimacy, I don't care.* I don't want to be evasive or defensive or worry about who tells who about my blog. I don't want to require anonymity to be able to say what's on my mind.
This is good for me, and damn it, I'm going to keep writing. Right here.
And I think I might even tell my family about it.
*Not you, my dear blogger friends.
posted by Jess at 10:19 AM
5 Comments:
Good for you. You don't say motherfucker as much as I do, though. And you don't have a spiritual fahhjer. Or a crazed mother. Does this mean we can call you Jessalyn now?
-tyKa
I'm encouraging you.
These are words of encouragement.
It isn't frivolous or profane or anything like that. Charming, well written and fun to visit, and I think your relatives would agree.
Oh, my family would just laugh and make fun of me. No, I'm thinking of people from my church community. There are several who read, to my delight, and others we recently learned about who are not so supportive of blogging and more inclined to judgment.
And no, Tyka, you cannot misspell my name. Or spell it correctly because I don't want to be googled. There are few enough of us.
i had an incredibly strong and absolutely vital support system via an online chat room when i was nursing primo; now i have a creative outlet in our blog and my bloggie friends as a support system. i don't see anything different between being friends with you and badger and blackbird, etc., and being friends with my long-distance college friends.
blogging is fun and harmless and what the heck else would we all be doing? watching more tv?
i really dig your blog. pls keep writing, my friend. i'd miss you if you weren't around.
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