Monday, May 23, 2005

Stubborn

Once, when I was very small and lived in Indianapolis, I went to the cult preschool. We sat at little round tables and they gave us soup for lunch and who knows what the hell we did. I don't remember it, really. But my friend of approximately 22 years, Katy, mother of Q, loves to tell the following story:

When we were in cult preschool together, Jenny, who was older and very popular, decided to start a club. A very exclusive, special club, and us younger girls could be part of it. What an opportunity! Lucky us! To be welcomed into the fold by Jenny! The condition of being a club member was this: you didn't butter your bread to the edges. When they gave us slices of lovingly homemade crunchy wheat bread (or sliced whatever, I don't remember) you couldn't spread the butter to the edges. Doing so made you ineligible. Any sensible four year old would jump at the chance to be included in this fabulous club!

But not me. With my dazzling four year old mind, I knew it was more important to eat by bread the way I damn well pleased, with butter in the furthermost corners, than to belong to some club.

The way Katy tells it, she went along with the conditions. She wanted to belong. But when she saw my resistance, when she saw me stand up to the powers of girlish belonging, she respected me.

When I became Q's godmother, Katy joked that I was chosen because I buttered by bread to the edges. Because I refused to conform.

-jessmonster, who butters her bread to the edges

2 Comments:

Blogger Sara Joy said...

I think that's such a cool story because it shows how certain traits of your personality are so ingrained that they're evident even when we're teeny tiny. And what better qualities to have so deep inside of you than independence and a spirit of non-conformity.

You rock Jess!

1:21 PM  
Blogger toni said...

jess, that is such a great story. and is the very reason that i know you will make up your own sensaria song.

2:36 PM  

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