jejune vs jessmonster

Jejuneness:

1. Not interesting; dull: “and there pour forth jejune words and useless empty phrases” (Anthony Trollope).
2. Lacking maturity; childish: surprised by their jejune responses to our problems.
3. Lacking in nutrition: a jejune diet.

Jessmonster:

1. endearingly mean: "the Jessmonster is so sarcastic but I love her anyway."
2. characterized by baked goods: "and lo, Jessmonster didst pour forth carbs on the world."
3. lacking the ability to get out of bed early without someone making me, but wishing I could since I love mornings: "Tyka had to Jessmonster me out of bed so we could laugh at pilates this morning."

I apologize for the noun/verb confusion in this post. It's after work, I reserve the right to let grammar slip as long as I awknowledge aforementioned slippyness.